My name is Xan; my parents named me Alexandra, and I have gone by Xan, the root, since I was twelve. There's always been more to my name that I say aloud, and more to my identity than meets the eye. My heart is restless, curious, and a bit eclectic. I believe it is human nature to transform, to grow, to explore, to heal. If you are interested in any of these, you’ve landed in the right place.
After ten years of teaching high school literature, I quit in 2017 with a goal of writing, traveling, and finding answers to life’s big questions. I called it my sabbatical. In truth I was answering a call to save my life. In years of studying psychology and spirituality, I had learned a slew of tools for health and happiness, but I wans’t using them. Why should I? For all the wisdom I’d dug my hands into, there was nothing I’d grasped that gave my heart ease. Before this, I was shelling out half my income on rent, living with a rotating door of roommates. I liked my work, but there was a boredom I felt like crumpling paper and throwing it in a wastebasket over and over. I wanted to do more. In that year, I broke my tailbone twice, and sprained my ankle so badly I couldn’t walk or drive for months. I gained enough weight, to render my wardrobe useless, clothing just closet decorations. I had good friends, but they were moving on in life, and I felt static, isolated, secondary. I was shuttling through romantic relationships like a soldier on leave. I realized wanted a partner and family, and I panicked that I’d never have either. I wore my fear around me like a twenty foot electric hula hoop. I didn’t trust anyone, most especially myself. I belonged nowhere, especially not where I was. My only way out was to be everywhere. It was the only thing I’d never done that I could do on my own.
I put all my belongings, minus a few suitcases and my little dog Hoopla, in storage pods until further notice. This was the most reckless thing in the world, and the most brave. I decided to be “home free.” I began my blog to unify the adventures, thoughts and incantations into one place. I had to hit this level of despair to get to the road, to land where I am now, happy, healthy, loving and loved. Trite as it sounds, life is a journey, and you have to go into the dark to find the light. I could read about it for centuries, but it’s not the same as doing it. And now, I feel certain of these things: I belong exactly where I am, and I am enough as is.
In the past few years, I have recreated myself. I bought my first home, and began others doing the same. I’ve found amazing partnership unlike any I’ve had before. I’ve become a COR Experience Leader through LDT. I’ve learned how to include travel into work I truly enjoy, facilitating play, discovery, and inspiration for all I encounter. I still teach, but outside the box. I have had to lean into my own sense of trust and faith to find the person I want to be. I can help you do the same thing. I teach methods for personal growth: meditation, yoga, accessing intuition, writing, dance, creative expression.
I teach people how to remember their own truth, how to call in their power. If you’d like to work with me, click below.